Actual Cannibal Shia LaBeouf

Status: Dead — killed by Celeste's cat; head exploded into confetti

A medium humanoid with a disproportionately oversized head. Designed by the DM around the giant papier-mâché head from the Rob Cantor song performance. Its knees bend backwards when it runs, like a bird's. It digs tunnels through vineyard dirt using what appears to be a flat blade, moving through them faster than it can run on the surface. It had been lurking around the Wizard of Wines Winery for at least two days before the party dealt with it.

What It Was

Not magical — Celeste confirmed this with Detect Magic during her watch. Not Strahd. Not a druid. Not David. Immune to charm and sleep, which is consistent with an elf or elf-adjacent creature but was not identified as such. The DM stated its stat block was drawn from a real source.

It paralyzed Merich at the start of combat via a Wisdom save tied to direct eye contact. It was not described as a gaze attack or supernatural effect — just the sight of the thing.

Combat Traits

• Resistant to bludgeoning, slashing, and piercing damage from non-magical sources
• Bite: necrotic damage; heals itself for damage dealt (10 necrotic to Merich, Session 18)
• Sprint: bonus action; drops to all fours; moves 60 feet (30 in difficult terrain)
• Not undead; necrotic damage was not its primary identity

At the Winery

It had been digging a network of short tunnels through the vineyard at the tree line — entrance holes on one end, exit holes on the other, short enough to crawl through, large enough for a medium humanoid with a giant head. It was also setting bear traps in the vineyard rows, covered with dirt and brush. Whether the traps were meant to catch the party, catch something else, or just represent its general hobby is not established.

During Celeste's watch, it was observed at roughly 15 yards: crouching, digging a hole, disappearing into it, reappearing, scurrying back into the trees. It did not approach the winery building.

Death

Brother Moro stunned it. Brother Moro grappled it. It dealt 10 necrotic to Merich and healed itself before being fully locked down. It attempted a sprint escape when the stun ended, triggering opportunity attacks from Merich and Moro (27 combined damage). Celeste's cat killed it on a hit roll of 19: 5 slashing, 7 radiant. The head exploded into confetti.

The DM had been looking forward to it.

Loot

Not discussed; deferred to Session 19.

First Seen

Session 17 — twice glimpsed at the tree line during watches; identified only as "very unique"